January 14, 2005

• This just in: Ashlee Simpson denies reports that she has no talent. In response to her booed performance at the Orange Bowl, she blames not being able to hear herself sing and unsatisfied Oklahoma fans. She believes that because she was cheering for a USC win, many pro-Sooner attendees were offended and showed their dismay. She refuses to acknowledge any involvement in her screeching, parrot act at the half-time show.

  
  

  That excuse just goes up there with the acid-reflux excuse…

  
  

  I saw an SUV with a body kit yesterday. I didn’t even know they made body kits for SUVs, but I guess they do. It looked like such a menacing vehicle, and at any minute I thought it was going to turn into a   man—ala Transformer style.

  
  

  

  
  

  That’s Maximus Prime…Optimus Prime’s half-brother.

  
  

   

  • 2:25 pm
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