July 10, 2013

• Just in case you guys haven’t already marked your calendars, @Nimbusthedragon and I will be guests on @Roadlesstaken‘s radio show today at 8:00 p.m. EST (5:00 p.m. PST)! The link to the broadcast can be found here.

  I’m really excited about it, but I’m also super nervous–which is, like, really, really bad because when I’m nervous, my brain loses all ability to form complete, coherent thoughts. And as many of you know by now, whenever that happens, I end up doing a lot of this:

  

  And not for a few split seconds either. I’m talking about neuro-flatulence-induced “Uhhhhhs” that can last minutes, people. Minutes.

  I’ve got roughly 6 hours to get in the no-fart zone, so I think I’ll be okay…unless I get the one question I’ve always dreaded having to answer. Seriously, nothing good has ever, ever come out of my mouth whenever I’ve been asked this:

  

  Oh gawd, no! Not the “tell me a little about yourself” question! Nooooo!

  If you’re thinking something along the lines of, “That’s an easy one! What the hell are you freaking out over?” it’s because you have a personality. I, on the other hand, have about as much charisma as a shriveled doot (sorry, doots of the world). The fact that I don’t have much of a life doesn’t help much either.

  So if you’re going to be tuning in–and I hope you do because @Nimbusthedragon and @Roadlesstaken are interesting people worth listening to–expect something like this to happen in the likely event that I’m asked to say a little something about myself:

  First, I’ll get flustered…

  

  And then I’ll do two straight minutes of “Uhhhhhh” as I try to come up with something to talk about:

  

  If I’m lucky I’ll manage to scrape a thought together, and will spew it out without thinking:

  

  And then I’ll immediately go into I-can’t-believe-I-just-said-that mode, while @Roadlesstaken and @Nimbusthedragon are stuck with the thankless task of trying to transition your attention far, far away from the mouth diarrhea I just vomited…

  

  The other possible result would be that I actually manage to find something to say about myself, but it’s something really, really dumb:

  

  And then I’ll have to commit to it and deny all the rest of the STDs because if I don’t, it might imply that something is ravaging my va-jay-jay…

   

  And that will set off a train wreck…

  

  

  

  

  

  

  And when I finally realize I’ve been digging myself into a grave of sh*t, it’ll be way too late:

  

  …And then poor @Nimbusthedragon and @Roadlesstaken will have the horrendous task of covering for me as I drown in a pit of my own mouth diarrhea… *sigh*

  Anyway! I hope you guys will tune in! It’ll be a ton of fun! 

  • 1:42 pm
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