November 9, 2005
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Geez…I hate Ashlee Simpson…to the point where I have to waste “valuable” time writing about stupid, disease-infested ass.
I saw the clip of her jumping on a counter at McDonald’s whilst in the middle of a druken, celebrity-induced tirade. She didn’t look much like an iconic figure at the time, and I’m pretty sure the general public who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about who she is couldn’t tell the difference between her and a whore on Sunset Boulevard.
So to remind those around her of who she is, and what higher social status her lip-syncing has bestowed upon her, she started demanding to see the restaurant’s manager, and betting “five million dollars” that she could get him to come out of his office. I suppose that bit about five million dollars was supposed to get everyone’s attention–look at me! Five million dollars is toilet paper, and therefore you should respect me as an artist and a person!
This is what I don’t understand about the venereal disease that is “celebrity.” Sure, you make a ton of money doing very little, and once you have your pictures in a million magazines and half the world’s population is fixated on your every move, you suddenly forget all the trials and tribulations it took for you to get to where you are. Gone is the humility and appreciation for what you worked hard for–all of a sudden it’s “I deserve what I have” rather than “I’m so glad to be here.”
And then you take that fame and five million dollars, and you drink until you forget everything your minister-father taught you about purity–and then launch yourself onto the counter of a fast food restaurant, demanding that your adoring “fans” kiss your feet if they want a picture with you.
Here’s something Ashlee Simpson might want to know: Although you have five million dollars to throw around every time you don’t get your way, may I remind you that you were at a McDonald’s…you know, the place where a homeless man goes to get a cup of coffee. So while you are parading around, thinking you’re that much better than the rest of us because you get paid to “sing” songs at SNL, and make live appearnces on TRL every three months—you still go to the same places everyone else does. Celebrity didn’t get you anything other a boo-fest at the Orange Bowl, and a camera-phone recording of you being an asshole.
Two things I don’t need five million dollars to tell me aren’t worth my time.
Comments (2)
Well said. But sometimes I do feel sorry for those celebrities- there was this show which had all these video clips of celebrities without makeup.. and once they realised, they often swore at the cameraman who made cracks at them- and then the host/voiceover would say that they had anger issues… If some asswipe was filming me when I was naked I’d tell them to go **** themselves too. Maybe they sold their souls to the public domain- but I don’t think even they deserve that.
Yeah you should read Andy Warhol’s essay “Popism” sometime. He puts it nicely when he says the great thing about America is no matter how rich you are, you can’t get a better coke than the one a bum can buy with scrounged change. Unlike in the UK, where class determines, diet, being super-rich can’t get you a scarier version of Nightmare on Elm Street, or a better-tasting coke.
Bill Clinton loved those McMuffins…