I don’t know–I think some kids are just asking to get raped by putting themselves on websites like these:

http://www.xanga.com/SiMPLY_HoT_ASianS/465444757/item.html

How this site got on Featured Content, I don’t know–all I can tell is that the contestants for hot Asians are all under the age of thirteen. For example:

A french manicure and a fake cute pout doesn’t hide the fact that you can’t even watch PG-13 movies without your parents.

This kid thinks having a stud in his ear will help him melt off all that baby fat on his face.

Another pouty Asian girl thingy. I don’t understand what the deal is with the finger on the cheek, but it must be some sort of age defying move that I haven’t heard of.

This child’s game plan is to lean back in his chair like a “stereotypical gangsta.” He is going to win for sure–and then he can tell all his playmates at elementary school that he won hottest Asian.

Where do I even begin? It’s almost unfair to rag on this blog because it’s run by infants–but there is some sort of wrongness to this site that makes me want to say mean things about it. Mean, truthful things that you’re all thinking about but don’t care enough to actually say them.

I guess I’m kind of bothered by the fact that these kids are striving to be the hottest Asian. I don’t really know what goes on in the minds of today’s younger generations, but when I was that age I don’t think my primary concern was so much being the hottest Asian as it was somehow making the transition from white tennis shoes to black tennis shoes–as in, my appearance meant nothing back then. But who knows? If these girls can get wear make-up and get their nails done, and these boys can pierce their ears, all of which they have done before reaching the age of even considering a driving permit, and with their parents’ permission…who am I to judge?

(Oh wait…I’m the owner of this blog and I can do whatever I want–like judge kids and their parents for being losers.)

I bet a dirty, wrinkly pedophile came up with this site to find some fresh meat to play with. What better way to prey on those with low self-esteem than to invite them to a blog that will give them the popularity and attention they lack at home and school? And how come no one notices what these kids do while they’re on the computer? I mean, if I were a parent I’d definitely know what my child was doing on the computer—mainly because my “computer” is going to be made of cardboard and tape. And you can’t do sh*t with something like that.

Don’t forget to cast your vote.

The Adam Corolla radio show is horrible. Seriously horrible. I don’t even know why or how he ended up being the person to fill Howard Stern’s shoes, but I obviously don’t see the magic Clear Channel sees.

For instance–one of his first shows was about awarding the best pizza toppings. I’m not joking…and I think pepperoni won.

And then he talked about people who play the lottery—gave some sort of speech about how they’re losers or something. I say “or something” because I ended up turning my radio off once my ears started filling with puss and feces.

And what the hell is Rachel Perry doing as his side-kick? She’s a VH-1 countdown host–she reads cue cards and narrates for “Awesomely Bad.” She doesn’t seem capable of impromptu humor.

His show isn’t entertaining, and not because he’s not Howard Stern. He just doesn’t make his topics sound interesting. It’s become increasingly painful to drive to school in the morning when I’m reduced to either listening to him or nothing. And I have often chosen the latter.

You know what would be great? Since he’s the voice of Spanky on “Drawn Together,” he should do his show as Spanky. Seriously. He should start talking about Foxxy Love, Clara, Ling-Ling…all of them. And they should make appearances. Albeit “Drawn Together” hasn’t been very entertaining this season either, but listening to it on the radio would be a million times better than listening to Adam Corolla and his band of Italian misfits from Jersey.

Chloe Dao Wins Project Runway!

She was my favorite, next to Nick–but he got eliminated after Zulema stole his model and left him with her marshmallow model. Oh well! Just as long as Santino didn’t win…he was such an ass.

I am so, so inspired!

You can’t spell “slaughter” without “laughter”.

The “rag”, “time-of-the-month”, “period”, “crimson wave”…no matter what you call it, it’s the dreaded menstrual cycle–which I am currently going through, and I hate it.

I hate it because everytime I go to the bathroom I end up seeing a toilet bowl full of blood after I’m done doing whatever I have to do. I hate it because blood clots come out of my body when I’m in the shower and flow about my toes–and in my rage and digust I end up reenacting the pivotal pig’s blood scene in “Carrie” (sans telepathic powers and massive raging fire during prom). I hate it because my used “feminine products” smell like rotten shellfish and old socks–and the accumulation of a week’s worth of sanitary napkins makes my bathroom smell like…like… <insert clever, smart word that means “stinky”>.

But what is the menstrual cycle anyway? WHAT IS IT? Women bleed for seven days out of each month (typically), and we just take it as a part of life. But I’m not content with that! I am not okay with having to plug myself up with cotton, or sticking a fat pad onto my panties because I don’t want to risk bleeding through my clothes and subjecting myself to the stigma of being the girl who soiled herself. I don’t see why I have to do it. What is it all for?

So I did research! Ahem…

The menstrual cycle is the set of recurring physiological changes in a female‘s body that are under the control of the reproductive hormone system and necessary for reproduction. In women, menstrual cycles occur typically on a monthly basis between puberty and menopause.

During the menstrual cycle, the sexually mature female body releases one egg at the time of ovulation. The lining of the uterus, the endometrium, builds up in a synchronised fashion. After ovulation, this lining changes to prepare for potential implantation of the fertilized egg to establish a pregnancy. If fertilization and pregnancy do not ensue, the uterus sheds the lining and a new menstrual cycle begins. The process of the shedding of the lining is called menstruation. Menstruation manifests itself to the outer world in the form of the menses (also menstruum): essentially part of the endometrium and blood products that pass out of the body through the vagina. Although this is commonly referred to as blood, it differs in composition from venous blood.

Thank any and all omnipotent beings that Wikipedia exists…