June 26, 2006

• Massage loving Businessman looking for one or two massage specialists who will also work as drivers/personal assistants. Must own car and have flexible schedule. Should have knowledge of deep tissue, shiatsu and 4-hand massage techniques. Attractive females between 21-45 only. Please be creative in letting me know what you can do. Pic good but not required.
  

  
  

   

  
  

  This is an actual ad on Craigs List--and I'm pretty sure there is a double entendre to the term "personal assistant" (i.e. personal whore). But I have to give him some credit: I wouldn't have been quite as obvious about my desire to hire a call girl as this guy; I probably would have gone with the safer route and said something like, "Roman Catholic Priest seeks young, supple male between the ages of 8 and 12 to light candles and sing some songs." That doesn't insinuate anything.

  
  

  And what does he mean by "be creative in letting me know what you can do"? Or, I guess the better way to phrase it--what doesn't he mean? My first guess is that he doesn't want resumes as much as he wants a hands-on tutorial...but that's just me. For all I know, he could actually be requesting the applicant to beat him with a rubber hose and have him call her "mommy". You dirty, dirty businessman.

  
  

  Anyway, I'm taking online traffic school right now---sort of. WebTrafficSchool.com has this ridiculous system of requiring students to wait 7.5 minutes before continuing on to the next page. I tried to hit continue after I read the [boring] information, but this message came up, scolding me for not reading the page carefully. 7.5 minutes is a long time to read this garbage...now I'm forced to spend the rest of the time looking at weird Craigs List ads and making fun of them.

  • 4:06 pm
  • 2 Comments