Cure your unhappiness by making someone unhappy!

That’s my secret to my smile, my friends, but what else would you expect? In my worst of moods, Cheetos, Oreo cookies, even cuteoverload.com do not cut it for me–instead, when I need a reason to stop feeling like dirt because I just ruined my Free Cell 12-game winning streak, I turn to my guaranteed pick-me-up:

Ruining a person’s day by letting them know they are ugly.

It’s amazing what trampling on a person’s looks can do for your mood!

When I feel like garbage, I go to beautifulpeople.net and have a field day rating the profiles of newcomers who are applying for membership. True to its name, Beautiful People is only for the beautiful people so membership takes more than just signing up for an account. You have to post a picture of yourself, and then wait as current members rate your looks during your “probationary period.” If you get a high enough rating, you’re in; but, if you get a pathetic rating you’re automatically out even if you’ve got a few days left to go.  I’m guessing the creators have a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to uglies.

Unfortunately, women only get to rate men, and men only get to rate women–which I think is actually supposed to prevent existing female members from sabotaging the chances of the women applicants because there is a propensity for jealousy and hate in attractive women, and they cannot accept the possibility that there are other equally attractive women in the world.

I use “they” instead of “we” not because I believe I don’t belong in the group of jealous, hateful attractive women–but because I have never met anyone I should feel jealous and hateful towards…and that’s because I never leave my apartment.

Anyway, at the very least everyone gets to see all the people who are getting voted on, regardless of gender–which is great because I find it extremely amusing when I come across some girl’s profile whose current status is “this profile is NOT being voted in.” Then again, I find it just as funny when I see the same thing on a man’s profile.

Looks something like this:

Yes, I created an account just so I could bag on people. Do I need a better reason?! And neither do you!

And just because I can brag on my own Xanga…