June 2, 2008
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I’ve been getting rid of my old law school textbooks by selling them through Amazon.com to people who have no idea that they are buying what the cashier at my school’s bookstore calls “the worst pieces of sh*t I have ever seen.” So what if most of the pages look like this:
That is high quality book-briefing! And all done entirely in Crayola markers! Highlighters are for pussies! People who buy my textbooks will never have to brief another case again–assuming they can figure out what the colors stand for since I neglected to include a reference key…but whatever! See those notes I wrote in the margins? All Sakura Gelly Roll pens…the glittery kind, too. That’s right: I use the good stuff.
Unfortunately, I’ve had to label my books as being in “acceptable” condition because Amazon does not recognize such obvious displays of brilliance. Thus, my textbooks of awesomeness are lumped together with textbooks of crappiness simply because the pages happen to have “considerable notes–in pen or highlighter.” I did try to get into the “good condition” category because, after all, I had used markers rather than highlighters, but I couldn’t find a loophole for the stuff I wrote in pen. Even describing it as “notes written in margins using thin tubes of glittery ink,” was not going to save me. As a result, I’ve only made an average 10.5% return on all my books–not counting the measly $3.99 credit Amazon automatically adds for standard shipping.
And therein lies the problem: the $3.99. The only thing it will cover is Media Mail, and that takes 7 to 10 business days because the packages are placed on a covered wagon pulled by a team of snails. By the time the buyer finally receives the book, he’ll have aged 100 years and be stricken with dementia. That’s why I always have the “Expedited Shipping” option for those who are willing to pay $6.99. I assumed the additional $3.00 was meant to cover the cost of upgrading to Priority Mail.
However, one of my buyers sent me an irate e-mail last week, complaining that he needed his book for a homework assignment and it was taking too long to get there. I responded with, “you should have chosen Expedited Shipping then
, cheapass. Priority Mail is $4.80.” If I upgraded his shipping, I’d only end up making 18 cents–which would then set my goal of getting a Wii Fitness back a couple years. So not worth it! He can just piss his pants waiting for a book that will be obsolete by the time he gets it!And yet, even though I know he’s just being a douche bucket, I can’t help but wonder: what is the shipping etiquette for Amazon sales? Is the shipping credit supposed to completely cover the cost, or am I supposed to cover the remaining balance for Priority Mail?
Any and all advice will be greatly appreciated.
Comments (50)
Make the price higher/include shipping in the textbook price?
that’s some craziness on that page. but A+ on penmanship.
buyer always pay shipping. all of it.
Yeah, those are commercial quality side notes. Those definitely deserve a price increase.
that’s some good handwriting!!
Either you have ridiculously neat handwriting and underlining, or that image is Photoshopped. Then again, you are the queen of MS Paint, so I can probably safely rule out your having Photoshop.
To answer your question about Amazon shipping, they reimburse you a flat rate, meaning if the actual shipping cost is higher than what they give you, you’re SOL. Of course, you can make a buck or two if the actual shipping cost comes in under what that give.
Pssfftt forget Amazon! Half.com FTW! Buyers pay the shipping costs on top of the book price!
I, for one, appreciate pre-loved books! They come a bit worn, used, but are warm with love, wisdom, and joy! Sometimes, if you are lucky, they come with love stains too….I once found a bible in the drawer of a hotel in which the last owner loved it so much that he left a little bit of himself in it! Imagine my joy! Oh ho! ho! ho! ho! ho!!! ^_^
caveat emptor! and let the buyer assume shipping costs! i mean, it’s only fair after you did all the hard work reading the textbook for him/her already, amirite? you and your slightly disturbing, almost OCD-like highlighting scheme. fuck me if i’m wrong, but did you use a ruler to maintain such straight underlines (purple)? also, very girly and adorable handwriting.
I would say the douchey thing is to try and make more than $.18 on books in that condition. If that is an example of the book the guy is going to get, you should expect more irate emails. Any books I have that are in that condition, I don’t have the heart to foist upon an unsuspecting consumer. They just sit in my bookcase. I’d be pissed if I spent even a few dollars on something in that condition – fcuk caveat emptor. lol maybe that is why Law School just wouldn’t be my bag… still have my soul intact…
Are the books autographed by you? If I buy one, could you spray some of your perfume on it?
- Not shy face, but shifty eyes.
Wow it is so colorful lol. Try Ebay?
damn your handwriting should be a standard font in Word. Make ‘em pay for shipping. Nothing’s free. Snails have families to feed too.
Sigh….law……
Reading those lawyerese paragraphs made my head hurt. If not for the pretty colors to keep me cognizant, I would have surely slipped into a coma.
rofl.
eBay? You can charge whatever you want for shipping there. Haha.
That’s positively Talmudic. You should try to get more by selling them here (including the secret key to your coloring scheme).
I get the feeling you already know the answer, but…
Amazon’s standard shipping credit is meant to help cover the cost of a basic service like USPS Media Mail. Sometimes it works out to a little bit of profit. Once in a while, the credit falls short.
No seller is expected to ship Priority unless the buyer is willing to pay extra for Expedited shipping.
My textbooks are the complete opposite. Once in a while, I’ll have a couple lines highlighted in yellow highlighter (or gel pen.) But only because I get really bored and want to look a little bit productive. But most of my textbooks are in pretty much the same condition as the day I bought them.
I sold a book on Amazon, the $3.99 didn’t even cover the cheapest shipping. I barely made anything on that friggen book. My book was almost new to because I never write in my books, and half the time I end up not even opening them.
@tim00 - I’ve only heard of caveat emptor in relation to real property cases…then again, I’m the person playing “Free Cell” in the back row, i.e., not a very good authority on anything dealing with law.
@squeakysoul - I agree; having a soul makes you too good for law school.
@npr32486 - I don’t have perfume…but I do have rancid ass gas.
*definitely shifty eyes*
i used to pirate movies about a million years ago and i’d make people pay like $5 for “shipping and handling” when it cost me $1.28 to ship it out first class regular mail. the way i figure, the $3.72 covered “handling” which to me says, writing your name on the envelope and peeling off the sticky thing to seal the envelope and walking 2 feet in front of my house to shove it in the mail box.
but hey.. that’s ebay. i dunno if amazon’ll let you get away with charging an extra $3.72 for handling
@absolutangel64 - i speak of the concept in relation to grading your textbooks’ various states of disrepair. don’t have to lie about it…just don’t need to be wholly truthful. i rarely buy things from online auction sites…then again i have the view that most people are devious tricksters like myself….err i mean…completely honest wholesome beings of light.
That textbook looks like a Filipino party dress! I think the other person should pay for shipping and have it included in the price you ask for.
hmmm. i don’t buy my books new and i don’t sell them via amazon. school websites for that =)
LOL I love dumb people who can not help but to blame others for their faults.. so this Mr. bucket le douche got mad that you did not send express? Waiting til last moment to do homework while ordering online.. He can pay extra if he wants like any other express service. I think the going rate on most sites are like 25 ish.
I don’t use Amazon.com (yet) so I don’t understand a word on the shipping part, let alone helping you. But I have to say something about the writing on the margins: those can’t possibly be written by you! The letters are so uniform, as in all the ‘a’s or ‘t’s and such look so alike! They are obviously typed. Then again, you could have ridiculously pretty handwriting. If the truth is the latter, I want you to do all my notes.
half.com, FTW.
and dang, that IS some good handwritin!
2nd hand books are the best. they come with notes so you don’t really have to think much yourself!
Somewhere lying around the house I have boxes of old bar review tapes and crap from Marino, PMBR, etc., old law school notes I never threw away, and then I subscribe to New Jersey Lawyer but the older issues are great for putting on the hardwood floor when I’m shining my shoes and don’t want to get Melton’s shoe cream all over the place. Well shined shoes are an important legal weapon or at least clients seem to think so.
I’ve only bought books from amazon.com. I think I’d fall on the floor laughing if I got a book like yours with so many colors!
There’s nothing better than buying a book that’s heavily underlined. It’s like studying off someone else’s paper. lol. And is that your handwriting in the margins? Holy crap! I wish I could read mine. You make it look like an art form!
you should’ve sold your books on ebay. that way you could fully describe your wonderful system and charge as you please (especially the shipping)
I haven’t sold my [pathetic freshman undergrad] books yet, so I don’t know how to help you.
I really need to sell those back… problem is, I have a great feeling that they would come in handy as, oh, say… firewood? The kind of evil power that resided in the ridiculous books I was forced to read for English would make one hell of a bonfire. I just can’t bear to part with that kind of resource.
Lol, yeah I have no clue myself. I recently forgot I still had books from last semester on Half.com until one bought one this week… then he emailed me and asked if I could upgrade to expedited because he needed it really badly. I was so confused on how to even “raise the price” that I just told him to forget about the extra cost – I just wanted to get rid of the freakin’ thing. So then I ended up spending four more dollars – exactly the price of the book. Hahah, so yeah, I think I’m going to go take the others off the sale shelf right now…
you are my hero. i start law school in the fall….now i know how my text books are suppose to look like.
I wanted to compliment your handwriting, but everything I wanted to say has already been said. So instead, I will swim against the current and say that your handwriting makes my eyes bleed. There.
A lot of ebayers reduce their shipping fees by including most of, if not all, of the shipping charges in the item price. I personally look at the price as a whole. If the item price + shipping is within my acceptable range, then I’m buying. So what if this toy has $40 shipping? The actually toy only costs $2!
Buyer always pays for shipping and you’re right…the cheapass shouldn’t depend on the US Mail system to make sure he’s got his homework done. Dummy!
I don’t sell on Amazon, but I’ve bought a lot. The 3.99 can seem kind of high for some of the stuff I’ve bought. BUT, I choose to pay it because the book prices might be super low and it’s worth it to get a book that’s used rather a brand new one.
Know what I mean, Vern?
Nice penmanship, but I would probaby faint after opening that book. LOL.
LMFAO Ok I laughed pretty hard when I saw that image. Like seriously, I wouldn’t even know what I was reading if I highlighted that much. You completely defeat the purpose of highlighting emphasizing important passages lmfao!!!!
love the post! i say go through half.com – amazon sucks. buyers should pay for shipping.
Haha my law textbooks’re also highlighted like that (and with a ruler too!)…
These books would be completely useless to me, unfotunately.
shipping credit sucks balls and never covers the cost of shipping. you have to circumvent shipping costs other ways.
Actually, the little-known Amazon rules are rather simple.
#1: Charge an ungodly amount of money for something with little or no value.
#2: Tell all customers that you pride yourself on quick delivery.
#3: Once customers are suckered into paying you money, promptly throw all items into a bin of fire, and move on with your life.
(I think I’ll publish a book for these sort of things.)
use eBay. Then you can set the starting price you want for them. O, yea and they pay the shipping ^_^
lol (for lack of better words)
haha! i’m a law student too, but my textbooks do not resemble urs at all!
great read =]
Oh, and an unrelated note that I felt like sticking right here.
I feel the need to kneel in your presence after reading that you finished Final Fantasy 9 in four days. Bravo.
You own.
(P.S. – Favorite game of all time, right there. Everyone’s always crazy about 7, but I really don’t like it as well. And Vivi’s a badass.)
wow….ur handwriting is like one of the font in microsoft. reallyyy reallyyy nicee <3
oh right. the issue of your books being in disrepair. well i consulted a friend of mine in law school and forwarded your entry with the picture, and her response was “omg! that would save me so much time if someone already color coded it for me!” target the lazy law school students for buyers.
Just had this problem with Amazon. I ordered a book that I needed for the CLA exam, and get an email saying, “We don’t have that book. Sorry about the inconvenience.” I started yelling at my computer, ” I HAVE A FREAKING TEST!!!! I NEED THIS BOOK!!!!!!!!” Stupid whack-a-mole Amazon. I got the book though.
ahha 1. i did read the entry but 2. the thing that stood out to me the most was the insane straightness of your lines (Do you use a ruler?) and the extremely neatly written notes. I thought you just c/p’ed a page in paint or something and drew lines over the existing text and typed text in a certain font and placed them in the margins.