July 18, 2008
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Even though I’m a girl, there are some things girls do that I honestly do not understand–and it is seriously causing me to worry that I’ve got a penis hidden somewhere in my body. Can someone, anyone, explain these to me so that I don’t have to go through an identity crisis? Those are rather inconvenient, and I’d like to avoid wasting time on them if at all possible.
1. Toilet Seats
I know one of the biggest gripes we have about men has something to do with a toilet seat being left up, but I’m not quite sure what it is I’m supposed to be mad about. Is a toilet in stasis supposed to have the seat down? Is the threat of falling into the bowl greater than I imagined? Maybe I am too preoccupied with the need to rid my body of all that accumulated waste before it ends up in my pants, but I’ve never had a problem with how a toilet seat is positioned. If it’s up, I’ll put it down–or tip the seat down with my shoe if I’m in a public bathroom (wait…why would a toilet seat be up in a women’s bathroom though? Hmm…). Either way, it’s not an issue that requires much energy from anyone.
The only thing I can think of that would slightly irritate me is if the toilet seat was up and exposed a poo-poo rim–or, worse, seeing that the underpart of the seat itself had diarrhea splatter (which is why you should always do a thorough inspection after an anus explosion!). And then, since I’d only be slightly irritated and not in a furious rage, I’d ever-so-calmly seek out the culprit, grab him or her by the face, shove it into the doodoo stains, and demand that they clean that sh*t up…with their teeth.
2. Cuddling After Sex
Another thing I’m aware of girls getting mad over is when a guy doesn’t cuddle after sex because he’s sleeping. When a guy falls asleep after sex, I tend to feel relieved rather than resentful. The man deserves to rest after putting in all that energy and effort into giving me a memorable experience–okay, that’s not really why I don’t care. The truth is: so what if he is too tired to hold me in his arms? Those things are covered in sweat anyway! And so is the rest of his body! I already dislike being covered in my own sweat, so the last thing I want is for someone else’s sweat to be drying on my body. But that’s what would happen if there was after-sex cuddling, isn’t it? Cross contamination!
Besides, how else am I supposed to sneak away without making him feel like I just used him for his body? I mean, yes, my intention was to love-him-and-leave-him, but it would be rude to say that to his face. I do have a conscience, you know.
Insight, please!
Comments (53)
love me, leave me, just make sure you please me.
about the whole bathroom issue…having grown up with 2 brothers, i agree it’s not a big issue.. BUT once in a while you need to go pee in the middle of the night… one tends to just sit rather than inspect to see if the seat is up or not… lets just say i’ve actually fallen in more than once. so…. maybe we should ask guys to put the seat down at nights?
i honestly dont see the big deal about the toilet seat either.
i mean, if i had the choice, of course i would prefer not having to move the position of the seat, but whats the big deal, really
Only if theres a million of you, you’d make our lives alot easier!
most women I date seem to be too tired to want to cuddle.
*Shrug* I leave the toilet seat randomly in up or down position. In my mind, I have better things to worry about than the state of the toilet seat position.
I don’t mind cuddling after sex … it’s a pleasant experience and I don’t fall asleep after sex. Although I am not use to having another person sleeping with me so the actually falling asleep part is more difficult.
if you also like sports and fancy gadgets, you’re a dude.
I think it’s all the nut cases out there that give normal girls a bad rep.
You sneak away after he’s fallen asleep. Or…you ask him to wash up and leave while he’s in the bathroom. Unless of course it’s your place, in which case there’s no real good solution except to kick him out the next morning.
i can’t sleep while cuddling.. O.o and yes sweat repels me like no other.. sweat + odor = fail
btw my bedroom door is always open for u haha and you know i like u for ur body… o and ur sexy brain (which is part of ur body) har har
That’s the best MS Paint toilet ever!
Cuddling? They feel insecure that the man might run off after he’s had his pleasure!
a lotta girls i’ve been with want space after, no cuddling…
Women should consider a raised toilet seat an act of politeness. At least the man who last used it was smart enough to know that he would have most likely pissed all over it if he hadn’t raised it. Most men have terrible aim, myself included.
I wrote a number of failed responses to this post. I decided to erase them all. they all involved “hiding a penis” inside of you and/or willingly being loved-and-left. In the end, I decided to give you kudos for being right on for your toilet seat opinion.
ur posts are awesome
Basically, I have to say this blog makes me wonder about how toilets really operate. I agree that cross-contamination is a big factor in marital relations. You have to be careful. For your sake, I hope you know how to protect yourself from infections. I mean, what you do is what you do, but I am just saying to be cautious. These men can have an STD, and it is dangerous to have relations with such a man. Sex can be fun but dangerous, and it’s wise to be careful, so be careful. Other than that, stay cool and be careful!
S.C.
love the potty!
*agrees with yosho and ldjucb3*
kinda.. manly…
yet.. kinda like dream girl of most men..
i think you should leave the toilet seat up at all women’s bathrooms from now on…give em a mind fuck!
also…isn’t it a bit too late to worry about cross contamination? you guys already did the nasty hahah.
cross contamination = ringworm. nobody wants that.
not too sure about the conscience part
Even if I was a girl, I wouldn’t understand these two things either. You definitely have a penis hidden somewhere in your body. Have you ever considered that tail you have isn’t a tail at all?
More on the toilet seat issue, I don’t get why guys have to do all the work. I mean, we are supposed to lift it up to pee, and then put it back down again after we pee? Why can’t we just split up the job: we can lift it up to pee, and you girls can put it down to pee. Fair? Unless you want us to pee on the seat.
I don’t like cuddling people when I am sweaty; I don’t care if my girlfriend hates me for that.
I have to pee badly after sex usually. Some girls get offended when I get up to go the the bathroom. I mean jebuz cripes, honey, I love you, but I don’t want to pull an Rkelly and piss all over you in bed… or do I?!
clone yourself for the many men out there who would so love the way you are.
im with you on the toilet seat issue. maybe it doesnt bother me cos i dont have any brothers? i never had that problem.
but right now i live in a developing country and its cheaper NOT to buy the toilet seat. so unless im in a very rich tourist area, i never have a toilet seat! and the locals are so used to it, that when there IS a toilet seat, they put it up lol. theyre not used to the feel of sitting on one. quite problematic for me when im on my rag or taking a crap.
hahah totally agree with the toilet seat thing *shrugs* i grew up with guys… the toilet seat was rarely down… until mum got really cut and made the boys always put the seat down.
I don’t like the lid left up either, why do they put a lid on the toilet if it shouldn’t stay down when not in use? anyways, the kitties jump up there to sit, and if the lids up they fall in. the secret – put on a real fuzzy toilet seat cover and it forces the lid down when they’re done. They’ll complain it doesn’t stay up while they pee, but totally solves the problem. cuddling after sex is fine, however don’t make me sleep that close to your big sweaty body. unless I wake up cold. it’s nice to have a big warm body there just in case.
Take care,
Have a good weekend!
hahahaha…. HIGH FIVE…. so is there a lot of girls out there like you? If so, where can I find them. LOL
hi! interesting blog. cuddling would be nice, but i feel sweaty after all that… so i don’t. i’m also tired out so i need room to catch my breath. i love it when girls sweat, just as long as it’s “clean” sweat, hehe.
Hahahaha I love it, I am totally the same about #2! As for the toilet seat thing… LOL oh the poo poo rim… yeah IF the seat cover has stains on its underside and soI need to touch it to put it down… it sucks…
totally agree with you on the cuddling post sex thing. but our reasons differ drastically!!
sometimes, the guy falls asleep first, ha.
I agree with you on the cuddling, although if it’s a young relationship one might beg to differ…
I have fallen in, in the middle of the night & being a germaphobe doesn’t help 
I put my foot down on the toilet seat
it’s not that hard for a guy to put the seat down… They need the seat down to s#!t, we never need to put the seat up… Fair?!?
toliet seat battle… it’s all control and territory… i was laughin my head off how you describe the uglies on the unerside of the seat…
cuddling after sex… you got pretty good point… but i guess most girls love to be wanted (?) i’m not too sure… but once again another good insight.. sharing germs… i can see that becuase i seat waaay too easy, and i’m sure i would sweat alot during and probly even more after sex, and i wouldnt want my lover to be covered with my sweat… until they want to hold wet asian guy… lol
i completely agree with you on both points. the toilet seat thing doesn’t bother me. i guess i’ve lived with enough men to just think it’s normal. as for the cuddling thing. i tend to need air afterwards. i don’t want to cuddle at all.
If I’m in the home of all females, I always make it an effort to put it back down. I think it’s common courtesy.
As for cuddling after sex– I actually like to cuddle after sex, but that’s just me.
-ray leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I hate cuddling after sex too. I stay away after sex because of the whole sweat factor. Not my idea of a romantic time to be drowning in someone else’s sweat!
HOHOHO!
Merry Christmas in July! This is for being a good xangan! Be good all year, now! Hohoho!
i’m in love with the person that wrote this entry.
Very very entertaining and funny. I love posts like this one.
I know that putting the toilet seat up or down doesn’t require much effort on either part, but it’s sort of a respect issue.
We always make sure our toilet seat is down 100% completed, stops the snakes getting up at night so my Mom says and also is much more polite for the next person to use.
Will you marry me? I don’t mind being used…
I think they way you do. I don’t care if the seat is left up or down…or if there is cuddling after sex.
i dont care if women leave the seat down after they poop…or pee etc.
yeah sweat is gross, unless it’s adding to the act itself in some way- no?
lol – love it.
Men are simple and for such a simplistic ending – they praise you.
Personally, I hate cuddling. I enjoy the fact that he will pass-out & I can go shower, then watch whatever I want on t.v.
As for the toilet seat thing, think its just another thing for couples to bitch about, [as if there is ever a lack of anything to bitch about]
take care & stay strong <3
WOW THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE! 49 COMMENTS AND 98 EPROPS! It’s like nobody was dick enough to double comment.
Until now that is.
I second the last one….especially after drunken sex.
It’s not a big effort putting the seat down.. But it pretty much sucks donkey balls when I go take a piss in the middle of the night only to half tumble into the toilet before catching myself. I am a smaller girl though, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad for others. Still. A lot of guys suck at aiming and there’s dried on piss on the rim. Definitely don’t feel like sitting on that.
As for cuddling after sex… Damn don’t you dirty people go wash off? That’s how you get UIs!
Dunno about the last one, but I do know about the first one. One time I was in a store, and had a bladderload to get rid of, I walked into the men’s bathroom and it looked like someone had stood in the doorway, pulled down their pants, and had an anal explosion that dotted every surface with brown flecks of reeking filth. I stepped back, used the women’s bathroom, no one was around, thankfully. Found an associate and calmly said, “DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT CRAPPY BATHROOM LOOKS LIKE?!?” “What?” “CRAP, THATS WHAT!!!!!”