March 16, 2010
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Mysteries of the World: The Loose Vagina
I’ve always wondered what my guy friends meant when they said a girl’s vagina was loose. I always thought the term was used when discussing skanky va-jay-jays, but apparently it is also used to describe vaginas that are literally loose.
But how do you make the determination that a particular pussy is loose or not? I’ve never had the opportunity to find this out for myself, so I can only assume that a vagina is loose when it has a lot of empty space–like, the lips are so saggy that they clap in the wind.
I tried to find out the truth behind this mystery by posting a question about it years ago. And I ended up with a lot of answers, but most of them were analogies. Don’t get me wrong: they were extremely fun to read and did give me a basic idea of the law of looseness. The ultimate message, however, was lost on me. The analogies could only be decoded by a person who had actually been all up in someone’s snatch. And that person was so not me.
A few examples of the cryptic responses:
“When there are pictures up of all the famous dicks that have eaten there.”
Can you name all the Dicks featured in the drawing?
Update: No one seems to know who the first guy is…not that I blame you or anything. His name is Dick Swett. I’m not kidding! Dick Swett!
“It feels like throwing hot dogs down a hallway.”
“Loose ones are like pool parties: Everyone gets to take a dip–all at the same time!”
It’s really sad that such brilliant answers were wasted on my feeble mind. Really sad. But based on the analogies, I’m guessing a vagina is loose when it doesn’t feel like anything when you get all up in there? You can’t produce any friction? Am I kind of close? Not really?
The concept is so weird…I wonder how you guys deal with being stuck in a vaginal vortex.
Comments (55)
Maybe the women were not loose. Maybe your guy friends are just small.
love the drawing of the hotdog analogy.
@TheTheologiansCafe - Most likely the case, since vaginas are so naturally resilient.
It’s a dangerous world out there…loose vaginas running around and such.
lol, great drawings. XD
I have been confuddled with this also. I tried to find more answers in my Gerontology book since there was a relevant chapter. I kinda did. But I’m not sure it much applies to these meanings.
you need to take different size hot dogs and test in the bedroom, not the hallway!
I don’t know, but those pictures made me lol.
Don’t know the first one, Dick Tracy, Richard Nixon, Dick Chaney, and Richard Gere. Do I get a prize?!
One of my favorites is if there’s any tread left on the tires, in other words, are you tight enough to make him feel big or is he just sticking his pecker in a peanut butter jar.
ahaha i think a good example of loose pussys are Extreme Penetration videos
As someone commented earlier, maybe it is the size of the guy that’s the problem. But then again, there are women out there that are able to fit an entire arm into their vajayjays. That my friend, is loose by any standard.
It’s actually almost quite impossible for a woman’s vagina to stretch from sexual intercourse… so I’m gonna go with TheTheologiansCafe and say they just had small penises.
The flapping comment in your blog does remind me of a story I was told last night though… I don’t understand how a girl can be that “loose” and free to just.. audibly flap around… *frown*
us men deal with loose pussy.
you women deal with skinny penis.
it’s all relative.
as for the dicks, it’s tracy, nixon, cheney, gere. i haven’t the clue who the first one is.
There are men who are small medium and big for size so why cannot woman also be small and medium and big in that department.
lol this was funny
Yea, so obviously a virgin, is really hard to get into (sometimes hurts from pushing and bending). On the other end some women have better control over their muscles and always remain tight. All in all sometimes a tight vagina isnt great because it takes a while to get all the way in there, even when shes on top with al her weight (OWWW) Then again a loose vagina can be not so nice either because roast beef curtains arent so pretty (flappy saggy lips). And women with loose, and i stress loose as a non-relative term because 4 fingers just aint usual, tend to get alot of air trapped. Which, when released, just totally breaks the moment as i cant concentrate so well why laughing extremely hard. To go further, women dont tend to have to make the same motion as men, and less friction tends to result in throwing ones back out which is an awful paralysis like feeling from thrusting too hard and fast. And then, those with unnaturally small vaginas which cannot be penetrated without extreme pain, THE WORST. So, i prefer a little use to none at all or anomolies.
Another analogy “its like fucking a bowl of warm clam chowder”. Though, ive never had sex, so i wouldnt know what ‘loose’ or ‘tight’ is, and i dont really care to know. As long as its not like fucking a shirt sleeve, its aight.
Arby’s roast beef sandwich, anyone?
@TheTheologiansCafe - haha, exactly what I was thinking.
Besides, vaginas don’t just get ‘stretched’ out – even after giving birth, it should relatively go back to the size it was before the baby popped out and @ times, it can even get tighter.
.@babixling - Ok um…a vagina does stretch out when you give birth. Where do you
think the baby’s head comes out of? It takes a few weeks to return to
normal but even then it isn’t as tight as pre-pregnancy.
@Void_Contraction - I always wondered why my beau always says it hurts sometimes it is difficult to go in when I’m on top. So does pussy farting usually equal a loose vagina?
I do kegels daily to avoid having a loose va-jay-jay.
I’m pretty sure it works.
@LeTsGoGeTeM - Not always as you would think, a tight one can retain air easier….its just the loose ones release louder more ridiculous noise, it also feels wierd on the dude. Yea, some girls ease their muscles from the opening onward but in the meantime the part of the guy thats out, is bending…and that fucking hurtttsssss, not only that but even a normal weight is alot to withstand on the top of a penis, which contains the most nerve endings.
When the vagina is loose.. do you understand what makes a vagina tight? the opposite of that.
@LeTsGoGeTeM - Lol obviously it stretches out DURING birth, she was talking about strictly AFTER birth, it goes back to the relatively normal size.
@LeTsGoGeTeM - The vagina is being stretched when a baby is born; but because it is like an elastic tube, the vaginal will resume it’s original size or close to original size afterward. Like all muscles, the vagina will feel like it is ‘loose’ when the muscles start to sag, but that is like everything else.
@ForeverLove_xx - thank you ^_^
Try for head or anal.
maybe they’re referring to chicks who get episiotomies!
hahahaha amazing illustrations
Fascinating topic… I haven’t encountered one in real life. I think it’s all relative though. Some guys just have big wieners and may think every chick has a tight va-jay-jay. Others guys have medium ones and may encounter a looser one from time to time. For the less endowed, perhaps they’re all loose… so rosy palm and her five friends may just have to do and he better pray that he has some serious cunning-linguist skills.
i imagine it feels much like a small penis from the woman’s end.
My boyfriend said that his friends always liked to say “if you can fit more than two fingers in there, RUN.” I guess they liked them tight.
People are mentioning small dicks. Well that’s the whole point. Guys like it tight because whether it’s a loose vagina or a small dick, either way the woman won’t feel as much pleasure as she would have done if it was the opposite (tight she, or large he), so they’re aiming for a girl that’s gonna make them feel like they’ve done well.
@ForeverLove_xx - I heard it doesnt go back to its relative size.
@OhItWontBeForever - dang, 2 fingers, run? I was thinking 3 fingers being easy is loose.
I once fingered a girl and I thought she was “roomy”….come to find out, she had 2 kids!!! No fricken wonder!
@oOBuBBLes711Oo - hahaha. I guess those guys like it extremely tight, then.
I bet it gets really stretched from childbirth! *shudder*
So very funny. Thank you.
It’s been widened up so that many dicks can fit in it. That’s what loose means. Stretched. Large. Gaping hole, not pleasurable and the dick has to search for the sides of the vagina to rub against it.
This also happens with small dicks.
urgh big ol’ floppy pussys r gross, i saw one once that was so floppy the motherfucker looked like a damn tent that hadn’t been put up yet
haha sylvia you’re on the right track about the friction. There’s a nice group of analogies from Deuce Bigalow believe she also mentions park your bicycle in my hangar or something lol
most hilarious comic yet
I’m recommending this because of all the little penises all having a good time. That and the puns are hilarious.
These drawings were so funny, I got a huge laugh from the following line though:
“I can only assume that a vagina is loose when it has a lot of empty space–like, the lips are so saggy that they clap in the wind.”
lol I think your pictures did their jobs to define those analogies.
Everything will feel loose to guys with pencil dicks, they need a small woman. It’s good to be fat down there, and women like it better than almost anything else.
i think you got a lot of analogies because it’s a bit…not hard…but different thing to explain…if you know what a tight vagina is then you know what a loose one is i guess because a loose va jay jay is the opposite of a tight one.
va jay jays are like any other body part that’s designed to stretch (ie mouth/cheeks) and can be sized differently depending on the person. Some have a longer flaps (and larger internal vaginal cavities) while others are relatively shorter ( or smaller hence tighter). Tightness can also be attributed to the girth of the penis or object and can also affect the feel of looseness or tightness depending on the combination haha. this is way too detailed !! !! props for the ballzy post. or should i say va jay jay post…
I believe I may be of some assistance here. Due to the female’s ability to accommodate a wide variation in girth, most men can be happy with most women most of the time. However, the condition referred to above IS real and has a couple of causes. The classic one that everyone seems to know about is childbirth: what stretches all the way out does not always shrink all the way back in. In the past in fact it was a not uncommon practice to make a short slit under local sedation in order to prevent the possibility of tearing and to then suture the slit or tear just a little bit tighter than before after the baby was born.
However, the primary problem, which was more recently discovered, is a lack of muscle tone in the area, which like most lack of muscle tone problems, can be corrected by exercise, probably eliminating the need for surgery after childbirth in most cases. Fortuitously, the very same improved muscle tone that, um, increases a lady’s popularity, also increases her pleasure and prevents female incontinence so Kegel, Kegel, Kegel, ladies.
hhahahahahah
A vagina that has never been penetrated by anything is like a brand new pair of underwear that you find out is a size too small. You can fit into them, but they’re really tight. But when you put them on, and take them off over and over again, eventually they will fit just fine because they have stretched to fit you. A vagina becomes loose in the same way. When it’s been penetrated many times, it becomes stretched out. Like a gauged earing. Start small, gradually get bigger and bigger, and eventually you can stuff a world-record pumpkin in there. This is every man’s understanding, but like @babixling said, it’ll go back to it’s original size eventually.
all this talk is too scientific. vajayjays are nice. the end
This is the most interesting batches of comments I’ve seen in a while. I hope you’re enjoying them as much as I am. Other commenters have already explained anything I would say.
The only reason I know Dick Swett is because I saw him on the Daily Show… sad truth.
@OhItWontBeForever - im considering c section Only…..or…adoption
@oOBuBBLes711Oo - haha. The vagina usually heals pretty well after childbirth, and even if it gets torn, the doctors actually fix that, too. It’s only if someone is having strange sex, sticking every Bob, Dick and Harry (literally) up their vajayjay that it’s gonna expand to the extent where a guy can stick his head (and I don’t mean that head) up it… Yes, my boyfriend told me he once saw a video – I’m guessing some wild porn – where a guy decided to stick his head up there, only he got stuck. LOL. So um, there’s your breakfast! hahaha
his WHOLE head?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats not even considered kinky anymore.
I loved the post but the comments are ridiculous. Hey let me check my vagina to see if its loose… WHOA! Who’s vagina is this! I didn’t know I was this loose.
How about tight vaginas or vaginas that aren’t tight but have big pussy lips, but not too big….just right…for *putting in the mouth*.