April 30, 2010
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Bowel Movement Back Splash
I know it’s the second doodoo-related post I’ve written in less than a week, but there is an important issue that I think needs to be addressed: Bowel Movement Back Splash.
Bowel Movement Back Splash, or “BoMBS,” occurs when your poop kernel falls into the toilet in a way that causes the water to splash up to your butt. It’s heinous and disgusting, and no one should ever have to go through life knowing what it feels like.
Sadly, I am not so lucky and have experienced BoMBS before. And those instances were so traumatizing that I’ve actually spent time trying to figure out ways to protect myself from receiving a doodoo water enema. I’ve tried varying my fiber intake, sitting and slouching on the toilet seat, pooping at an angle–I’ve basically gone through every possible solution except crapping into my own hands.
I don’t know what my poop’s problem is! Why can’t it just fall out gracefully? Why must it turn a simple dump into an Olympic event?
So unfair…
Comments (55)
ha you’re so cute
u know how to prevent it? just put a piece of tissue on top of the water before your crap falls in ^_^ I learnt it from a TV show LOL
you’ve got yourself a future as an artist
haha maybe this is why all the toilets in like asia the squating ones exist, eliminates backsplash!!!
Haha, cute.
*busts up laughing*
this is AWESOME. I have also unfortunately experienced BoMBS. bad times…
Inspirational!
@luvs_u - ninja drops!
wait.. wtf… girls poop?
i’m committing suicide.
I think Law School has demanded too much sophistication from you.
it’s SO ANNOYING when that happens!
Get some TP and chuck it in the bowl before you poop. it sometimes helps
@luvs_u - @Roadlesstaken - lol, ninja-style. thanks for the tip. haha.
putting some toiletpaper dead center in the toilet acts as a damper / shock absorber / splash repellent …. tricks of the trade my young padawan.
@tsotofu - omg. i TOTALLY just realized what your screen name is =_=
@luvs_u - XD
@luvs_u - seriously chris?
u need a bidet!
i can’t imagine how it would turn out on television…
That happened to me today. My expression was one of horror and “oh no, wtf, again!?”
lol just put in so toilet paper so…
You need to get closer to the water! Just remember to have cellphone handy so you can call the Fire Dept to come get you unstuck!! Hahahahahah!
Pre-emptive TP on the water always works!
LOL @ BOMBS.
Try flushing first. Then quickly turn off the water under commode, (the little nozzle). There should be very little water in bottom of commode. Maybe it won’t splash as high up. shrug.Don’t forget to turn the nozzle back, after. Then flush. Good luck.
I hate the backsplash! Ew.
pootastic!
Yup… it looks like other people have the same solution. A layer of TP over the water definitely helps with the backsplash. Here’s to a dry bottom.
lols… didn’t u post something up bout putting some tissue into the bowl before u do the no.2 ..
i tot that should do the trick.. 
gosh u’re funny!
Add corn starch to make it more viscous.
LMAO!!!
hahahaha! your pooplets are so cute!
Your post are always the best an funniest. I’ve been meaning to comment. I love the animations as well!!
I agree with luvs_u post about the toilet paper. It does work however you might want to use more than one piece. The heavy hitters or aka heavy bomb blasters will need the extra.
I too often ask why does it splash!!! SOOOO GROSS
what’s with this new bodily function trend ?
hahahhahahha sorry i cant help it hahahhahahah
you need to refine your anus control.
go to the gym, or bedroom, and work on those butt muscles along with the sphincter muscles.
you are welcome.
Put on an adult depends and move on.
It wouldn’t be so bad if the water wasn’t as cold. blech.
@daniel__n - lol.
so silly.
stunningly accurate
Too funny!!
There’s no backsplash if you use an outhouse.
I hate those so much!
hehe not sure if you’re being dramatic about all that straining, but if the drawings are accurate you need fiber girl! apples or those cereal aren’t too bad either. Then it’s all smooth sliding and no giant chunks of turd splashin’ around. ok now I’m going to wait awhile before I eat dinner. lol
Awe man I hate when that happens!
multi-flush, always.
lay toilet paper down on the water first!! hahaha
get a small wad of TP and ball it up and drop it in to prevent BoMBS.
If at a pubic restroom use one of the seat protectors and ball it up first before proceeding dropping dropping bombs.
Move closer toward the edge of the toilet.
You can adjust the toilet so that the water level is lower.
LOL same problem here. Follow the TP in the center solution, it’s golden. But if you pee on that first or don’t position it right, it might not work, so I do a layer right before Constance takes her dive; that seems to work best.
They are shockers aren’t they? TP on water helps … although too much might clog.
if you make a particularly long doodoo, it will just slither into the water.
kinda like the end of LOST shit happens….
I was laughing so hard, I had tears!
Oh, by the way, I’m living in LA now. We should grab some coffee and assorted bagels sometime!
WOW lol this was great
HAHAHAHA!!!!
really. this should have come with a warning or something. “do not drink anything immediately prior to reading”
I am totally trying that toilet paper trick