February 20, 2011

• So I guess the iPhone 4 was made available on Verizon recently. It seemed to be a big deal for Apple enthusiasts who love the iPhone but hate AT&T. I know a handful of people who had started talking about ditching AT&T back when the iPhone-Verizon deal was nothing more than a rumor. I bet they probably crapped themselves silly once they found out their wishes had been granted.

  But despite all the publicity, very few people lined up in front of Apple stores this time around. I think the longest line reported consisted of just 30 people, and they didn’t even show up until the day the phones were on sale.

  I don’t know why those 30 people even bothered to line up in the first place--or why so many more people chose to do so when the first iPhone was released...or when one of the "Lord of the Rings" or "Star Wars" movies came out...or when the PS3 was officially on sale. Weren't those things going to be openly available to everyone? What's with the extreme measures?

  I think the best example of such insanity was the first iPhone. Do you remember that? Technology sluts lined up in front of Apple stores days—days!—before it was released, and just sat around on sidewalks like homeless sh*t bags. They weren’t waiting in line for some life-saving vaccine or anything—they were there for a cell phone. A cell phone! And not even a limited-edition phone either, but a mass-produced one. Sure, it might not have seemed like it initially, but that was likely because Apple was purposely keeping supply low in order to maintain consumer hype. That's how they do it at clubs, you know? You see a huge line of people waiting to get in, but that's because there's no one actually inside the venue. I imagine Apple was doing the same thing with the iPhone. Eventually, however, anyone who wanted a phone would be able to get one. It doesn’t take hindsight to figure this out—that’s simply the life cycle of anything that’s ever been popular.

  But these douche-bag technology sluts didn’t want to wait that long, and chose to camp on streets instead. They had enough patience to sit in line for days and days, but not enough to do their waiting at home.

  

  

  

  

  

  

   

  

  I don't get it...well no, that's not entirely true. I actually do get it, I just think the reasoning is weak. All those people who had piled up outside of the Apples stores weren’t really doing it for the iPhone at all. You know they weren't. No, what these douche bags were really after—what they were sacrificing their time and dignities for—were the bragging rights that they thought came with being first.

  You know that's always the real purpose behind the stupid sh*t people do just so they can get an iPhone on its first day of release, or so they can see the first showing of a "Lord of the Rings" movie before anyone else does, or whatever. It's never about the product; it's always about showing it off--and in the sh*ttiest of ways. Then again, I don't think it's even possible to brag about something that's mass produced other than sh*tily.

  

  

  

  

  

  Speaking of bragging sh*tily: I had a classmate who had gotten an iPhone during the first week it was on sale, and was constantly trying to show it off to as many people as he possibly could. He used it to wave at his friends and professors as they passed by, and would have it out on his desk during classes. He also had this annoying habit of loudly complaining about how difficult it was for him to adjust to all the features, e.g., “Ugh! Why would I need to surf the web on my cell phone?” and “I still have so many gigs of free space left even though I’ve got a million songs and movies on my iPhone! I should have just gotten the 4 gigabyte model instead.” One of his friends finally called him out one day and said, "Dude, we get it already!" And without missing a beat, someone from the other side of the room yelled, "Burn!"

  Anyway, even if there are bragging rights associated with being first, what happens once supply catches up with demand? Because you know it will, especially in the fiercely competitive technology industry. And once everyone else has an iPhone, no one can tell the difference between someone who bought his a few weeks after opening day, and someone who lived in a dirty adult diaper just to get it on opening day.

  

  

  

  It doesn't seem worth it at all.

  P.S. Sorry for taking so long to post something. I've been really busy the past few months...been studying for the California bar exam again. I didn't pass in June (missed it by a few points!), so I'm retaking it. It will be over on February 24, and I'll hopefully be back to a more regular Xanga schedule afterwards. Thanks for everything, you guys!

  • 7:52 pm
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