May 15, 2011

  • I hope you’re ready for a really deep, thought-provoking blog entry because I’m about to open up a can of smart ass.

    I’m being seriously serious about this: If you’re not strong enough venture into the depths of the human mind, then I suggest you turn back now…because no blue red blue red—ugh, what color was the pill that kept your ignorance intact? I need to look it up…Hey! The first “Matrix” movie came out in 1999? That makes the blue/red pill reference, like, 12-years-old! I need to think of something more modern…“Emergency exit”? Bleh. “Backpack with rockets stuck to it”? Wait, that’s from the “Rocketeer”—what the hell is up with me and ancient movies?! Oh! I know! SEAL Team 6 will be able to save you from where you’re headed.

    …Still here? Fine, I’ll believe you have the balls to go where few people have gone before…but you better not come up to me afterwards and start whining about how you weren’t fully informed about all the geniusness you were going to gain from this post. The first sentence alone was enough to tell you what you were getting yourself into. After all, I did say “can of smart ass.”

    Okay, so here’s the thing:

    You know those stick-figure signs on the doors of public restrooms? You know, the ones that tell you which bathroom is for men and which is for women?

    05.15 (1)

    The one wearing the “dress” means you’re looking at a woman’s restroom, which leaves the stick figure that’s not wearing the dress to stand for the men’s room.

    But if you really think about it, isn’t the undressed stick figure actually designating the facility as a women’s bathroom? I mean, what would the dressed stick figure look like without any clothes on?

    05.15 (2)

    It’d look like the undressed stick figure, i.e., the one on the men’s bathroom!

    “Uhh…I think you’re reading far too much into this, Sylvia.” Oh really? Then how do you explain this?

    05.15 (3)

    Dong-less stick figure = man? Shut the hell up!

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