April 13, 2012
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I stopped relying on the local Los Angeles television stations for news updates because of Sharon Tay. I know she only works for one network, but I don’t know which one it is and would be putting myself at grave risk of further damaging my eyesight if I chose to watch the wrong channel.
For those of you who do not know who Sharon Tay is, don’t look her up. Please, I am begging you: do not put yourself in front of a train that’s inevitably going to wreck.
It’s not because she’s a bad person. I’ve never met her, but I’m sure she’s a decent member of society. And for those few times I’ve accidentally watched her newscasts, she seemed to be pretty good at her job. My only problem with her–and it’s the only reason why I’ve sworn off local news broadcasts–is her face…or more accurately, whatever is left of it.
Sharon Tay is a good example of what I consider really bad plastic surgery. Look her up (if you dare) and you will see exactly what I mean. The woman has probably had every possible enhancement and augmentation that exists, times three. And while I do think she’s attractive, it’s not enough to overcome the plastic mess that makes her hard to look at.
Not all plastic surgery is bad plastic surgery. My litmus test for determining which category your nip or tuck falls into is whether I can tell you’ve had work done without knowing what you looked like before. Sharon Tay failed that test–as did the Duchess of Alba (so scary), Octomon, 80% of the people on reality television shows, my waitress at the Cheesecake Factory, and Courtney Stodden. And by the way, Courtney Stodden obviously did not get her sex change done in Thailand because she still looks mannish…Huh? What do you mean she didn’t have a sex change? Oh please! There is no way in hell that gnarled man was born with a vagina.
Anyway, the results that tend to bother me more than others are the rail-thin nose jobs and bloated-ass lips.
I don’t know what it is, but I haven’t seen many nose jobs that resulted in natural-looking noses. The only person I can think of right now is Ashlee Simpson, and that was after I spent many hours of intense memory searching.
Most new noses all have the same shape: the ridges are really thin and narrow, and the nose ends with an unnatural point at the tip. I’ve been trying to draw a bad nose job, but you’ll just have to make do with a picture of a ski slope because that’s the closest I could get.
Were there no other noses for these people to choose from? Why would they go with one that makes them look as if their cheekbones won the war for facial turf?
Bad lip injections are even nastier. They happen so frequently that I’m starting to wonder if maybe the science hasn’t advanced enough to produce results other than trout pout. I mean, you’re telling me someone actually paid money to look like a bunch of herpes-infected bees attacked her mouth. You would have a better chance convincing me that Courtney Stodden is 100% female.
Seriously, how the hell is that a good investment?!
You know what though? Although it’s pretty bad to have a face that screams “this is why you shouldn’t get plastic surgery,” I wonder if it’s worse to be accused of having work done when you actually haven’t. That happened to me once.
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…That’s the closest I’ve ever been to plastic surgery. And I still don’t know how the hell I ended up with so many eyelids that day.
UPDATE: Revenge of the angry eyelid! I awoke to find my right one all messed up! I don’t have three folds this time, but still…
Comments (15)
Sharon Tay used to be hot before the surgery. You live in LA?
LOL I like how your friend just assumed you had eyelid surgery
I like cheesecake factory too!
Courtney Stodden as a man.. that’s an interesting concept! haha I heard it here first!
and that’s crazy she thought you had eyelid surgery! hahaha
Your comments about the prevalence of botched nose jobs is spot on. I always hate to see that and the bloated lips. A girl’s natural nose helps define the unique character of her face and even decent work destroys that. Julia Roberts, Nicole Kidman, Sandra Bullock – all are less attractive now that they’ve denied the profound goodness of their natural appearance.
me and my friends were just talking about her last night
Your posts always cracks me up!
I always read your stuff, I don’t comment a lot but I honestly think you’re hilarious and look forward to reading each of your posts
XD
I am all for plastic surgery. I’ve been wanting a nose job for like 15 years. When I finally was old enough and had the money I decide to do a couple consultations. I just couldn’t find anyone with a good nose job, at least not with a nose similar to mine naturally. So I decided to just wait until they find some better way to do nose jobs -___-
That last picture = hilarity.
Hilarious as usual. Sharon Tay doesn’t look that bad, but you can definitely tell something isn’t quite right.
I remember when Sharon Tay first got on air. She was beautiful. Now, you’re right, she definitely has that “something’s not qutie right” feel about her.
that’s the majority of korea for you…
Do you ever think that people who get lots of plastic surgery only like the way they look after because they spent so much money on it? It’s like buying a car, you paid the money, so now you have to drive it.