July 21, 2003
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Childhood Memories…
My house has four huge mango trees, and every season it bears us some pretty nice pieces of fruit. We had never really had mango trees before, so imagine our surprise when we noticed our delectable bounty….then imagine our utter disdain when we realized that other people were eyeing our mangoes too.
I was only 9 when my parents decided to let my sister and me stay home by ourselves. We knew it was illegal for parents to do this, so we never went outside where people could see us and figure out that we were alone. All we would do is sit in our room and watch television. The rest of house remained empty.
Then one day we hear some voices in our yard, and we immediately get scared that someone is trying to break in or something. So we hide under the desk and listen for the intruders. They were talking and stuff, and we could hear our mango trees rustling unnaturally. Those people weren’t burglars: they were MANGO THIEVES.
But we were too young to do anything. Calling the police would mean implicating our parents, so we just sat there and waited for the thieves to leave. Sometimes there would be one or two of them, other times there would be WHOLE FAMILIES. One family actually sat on our walkway after they picked our mangoes and started eating food. Like we were just a public park, and they were having a picnic.
Years later, I am reflecting on these memories and it makes me angry *turn into the Hulk* When I see them picking our stuff nowadays, I usually go outside and say something to them. BUT THEN NEVER GIVE US THE MANGOES BACK. They just act like PUSSIES and drive away.
So in my fury over these snippets of my past, I have come up with an invention. I call it the Extendable Pitch Fork:
HAHAHAHAHA! Tell me I’m not the best…BUT YOU’D BE LYING! MWA HAHAHAHA~!
Yeah Grand Big…I know you’re going to think I have too much time on my hands. But you’re proud, no?
75 days until the LSAT
Comments (5)
Haha! I commented you back last week. Hope your summer is going well. I can’t believe that in just another month, school’s gonna be back…wat the hell happened to our summer. You’re never online anymore!!!
wow sucha artiiiiiiiiiiiiiist u r… u should submit it in haha
oh yea n wut does Gwar blargh blargh mean? haha.. n btw now i’ll be super careful n not make a ass outa myself so U”LL HAVE THE ONLY EMBARRASSIN MOMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)
~~~~~~~~~char tar lar!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~
It’s now become almost impossible for me to press the ‘back’ button without leaving a comment. Even when I’m dead tired, you crack me up. And people wonder why I tell them you’re the best. THIS (and many other things) is why!!!
You should invest in a powerful paintball autorifle, with a couple of hundred paintball rounds. Post signs around the property saying the trees will be used as target practice and you won’t be responsible if someone happens to be picking the fruit and gets pelted. Paste a couple of target posters onto the tree and shoot it a couple of times … next time people show up to steal just pop a warning shot then if they don’t get the hint .. flip it to full auto and rock ‘n roll muahahhaahhahhahah >=).
You can be the asian rednecks of the block .. “Git off ma LAND !!!! ” *blamblamblamblamblam* =D.